Jul
05

Perfectionism’s Hidden Gifts Part 2

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We’ve just explored in part 1 of the Hidden Gifts of Perfection, how to sift out what is good from your perfectionism—the drive for excellence—from the unwanted self-punishing aspects.  Let’s look now at a different aspect of the perfectionist vow.

When you look back at some achievement from the past,  do you say, “Yes, it went well, but truthfully, I could have done better.”  It’s true that there is always room for improvement—and  we can always strive to do better.    It’s also true that if our standard is perfection—that’s like a moving target.  How will we know if it’s perfect?

Since we are striving for an unattainable goal, we will always feel like “I’m not good enough.  I don’t deserve success—yet.”   It sounds like yet another aspect of how perfectionism can keep you running in place and getting nowhere.   When you see someone who is constantly busy, working hard yet  not making progress or getting the rewards, he or she is probably running a vow of perfectionism.

The perfectionism can also be a “front” for the fear of failure.  If you secretly fear that you aren’t good enough then you won’t risk putting your energy behind your offers, your marketing, etc.   Someone may even look capable and confident from the outside but because of their hidden fear of exposure, they don’t go all out, or they don’t try for the bigger clients and recognition.

This is closely related to a recognized syndrome called the Impostor Syndrome in psychology—where successful accomplished professionals and  experts, such as doctors and attorneys,  have been shown to have a huge fear of being revealed as not knowing their stuff, or inadequate in a major way.

What  are the gifts here?  Once we shine a light on the perfectionism, and all the ways that this lifelong vow has led us to be excellent, we can actually acknowledge how skilled and excellent we are, right now!  We acknowledge that there will always be room for improvement,  yet we can feel good enough right now, and deserving.   Once we see that we are giving our energy to an unattainable goal, we can adjust our standards so that we can strive to be  both “Awesome and human too” instead of perfect.

If this speaks to you, I’ve got some specific processes from Tapping into Wealth that  can help with this. Clearing this vow can make a HUGE difference in your success.  Come experience a private session (contact me for a Clarity Strategy Action session) or join us for the next Retrain Your Brain 30 day Challenge.

We set ourselves free, finally, when we realize that there is no one out there who can give us that ultimate stamp of approval.  (This almost always comes from having critical and hard to please parents…who, if still alive,  will not likely give us approval even now—and if they did, it still wouldn’t resolve the child part of us that feels  “I’ll never be good enough” ) Now, as adults, we can see that this is not going to happen.  In fact, craving the approval of others, or needing praise and recognition, can keep you running on a different kind of hamster wheel.

This is not to overlook our very natural and human desire to be recognized, to be noticed and appreciated. Social psychology has shown that appreciation and gratitude is the best path to strong relationships, both at work and in the rest of life.

But what happens when you’re in your own business-where there are so many tasks to be done in a day, and where most of those tasks are invisible to others?  Waiting for others to notice and approve is going to be a long wait!

Because you really are good enough.  You deserve reward and recognition, right now—even if you still want to improve.  You ARE awesome..just the way you are!

Since you are human, and all us humans do  need that approval, how about practicing the very habit we cultivate in the 30 Day Retrain Your Brain Challenge? The habit of celebrating and acknowledging yourself.   Go ahead, do it now.  And notice how it feels to do this.  Does it feels awkward or unnatural, hard to do or to remember to do, is it unfamiliar or uncomfortable?  Now that you see how important this is to staying motivated and happy, and allowing yourself to really go for it–if you’d like to get better at this, join us for the next Retrain Your Brain 30 day Challenge that starts July 16th.

And learn to finally give yourself that stamp of approval!

SIGNUP BELOW AND RECEIVE MY AUDIO:
“Turn Your To-Do! List into a Ta-Da! List”
(Ta-Da! Is like the magician pulling the rabbit out of the hat!) .
See You On The Other Side

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